Yuki Nagato's Journal
by SiFi270
Summary: At Kyon's advice, Yuki starts a journal, allowing her to express many feelings she would otherwise keep repressed. The main feeling she's writing about? Love.
1. Entry 1

My name is Yuki Nagato. At the suggestion of my best friend, Kiyoshi Kujo (simply known as 'Kyon' to others), I am starting a journal. The reason he suggested this is because he has suspected for a while now that something is troubling me emotionally. The reason I have taken his advice is because he is correct in his suspicion.

To put it in the simplest terms possible, the reason I am writing this journal is because I am in love.

…

It would appear that merely writing this much has already proven more therapeutic than I had expected. However, I am far from finished.

The subject of my affections is a time traveller by the name of Mikuru Asahina, who, making matters more difficult, appears to be afraid of me. I have wondered what to do about this for years now, despite the Data Overmind's constant insistence that I ignore the subject altogether. This is but one of many reasons I have struggled to find a solution for my problem, but I am hoping that this journal will somehow be a step towards such a solution.

Anyway. As much as I have been obsessing over this, there is still a limit to how much I can write about it. If this journal is to live up to its description, then I must write in it about my daily life.

* * *

**Entry 1  
December 10th, 2004**

There is little to write about in regards to life at home. I live alone, and my time is typically spent reading a book until it is time to depart for school. Most of the more interesting books I read are kept at home, but I still quite enjoy the books at school. Speaking of which, now is an appropriate time to leave.

* * *

Upon arrival, I am almost immediately greeted with the sight of Mikuru Asahina. As you may have guessed from reading the journal up to this point, I consider this to be a pleasant sight, but I am sure that I would enjoy it far more if I were able to express how pleasing it is to see her. Though I suppose that writing these feelings down is a step towards that.

One of the traits I envy most in humans is how easily expression comes to them. If they wake up one morning and look outside to see a pleasant sunrise, they cannot possibly forget to smile. When something frightens them, a number of involuntary movements show this. Mikuru Asahina was one of the first humans I ever met, and to this day she continues to be a prominent example of what I love seeing from humans, but especially from her.

"G-good morning, Miss Nagato," she says. She appears to be forcing a smile, but it is still beautiful to see.

"Good morning." I nod, as is a habit of mine. Judging by her sudden haste in entering the school building, my response marks the end of this brief conversation. To anyone who knew how we normally behave around one another, this interaction be considered progress. Speaking of one such individual...

"Hey Nagato," Kiyoshi says. "I don't usually see you this early. You oversleep or something?"

"I have not," I say.

He looks at me and frowns slightly. Based on past experience, it is likely that I have mistaken a joke or a sarcastic comment for a sincere question. This has lead to many an awkward situation (for him, anyway) in the past, although I may be able to do something about this if I quickly change the subject.

"I have started writing a journal, as you suggested," I say. "It already seems to be doing a great deal of help."

"That's great." He smiles. "Can I see it?"

"At the moment, there is little to see," I say. "I have not yet amassed enough data for an entire entry."

He does not immediately reply, but his facial expression suggests that he has an issue with my statement, but isn't sure where to begin. Eventually, he speaks again.

"A journal isn't really about collecting data and writing it down," he says. "It's more about... It's more about what you're feeling. If it's helping you like you say it is, then you're probably already doing that, but it should be your first priority with this thing, okay?"

I nod.

"And another thing," he says. "You don't have to show it to me. If you want, it can be confidential. It's your decision."

I ponder this briefly. "So far, there is nothing in it that I would mind you reading."

"If you say so." His smile returns. "I don't want to be too intrusive. I might stumble on some secrets mankind was not meant to know or something."

Although I cannot say for certain, this appears to be a joke. Although, considering my inability to laugh or smile, being aware of this makes little difference.

"Anyway, I'll see you later." He departs, and I follow, our paths only diverging when we reach our respective classrooms.

* * *

During my first year attending this school, none of the work given to me posed any sort of challenge, and the only ones who could match me intellectually were fellow interfaces, all of whom have since transferred from this school. This year, however, there is a boy known as Akira Hirano, who often comes close to my level and sometimes even manages to outdo me in some areas. If I were petty enough, I might consider him a rival, but as I do not, I pay little attention to him. But today, I find my attention drawn to him, or more specifically, what he has recently been eating.

To put it bluntly, he appears to be in the process of digesting human tissue.

I try to keep in mind the possibility that he ate without realizing what he was eating, and advise anybody reading to consider the same. However, as I am thinking about this, he unexpectedly turns to look me in the eye and smiles maliciously, as though he knows something that he should not logically know unless I were to inform him of it. This leaves me feeling disturbed for the rest of the day, and as a consequence, I am unable to concentrate on my work. At the end of the day, I consider heading towards the Literature Clubroom, as I normally do, but after some consideration I instead decide to confront Akira Hirano.

"Excuse me."

"Yes?" He turns towards me, wearing a smile considerably more innocent than what I saw earlier."

"When you looked at me this morning... Were you trying to convey a message?"

"You looked at me first," he says. "I suppose if I was trying to say anything, it must have been a simple 'hello'."

I am hesitant to believe him, and he seems to be aware of this.

"Listen," he says. "I know you and I have never really spoken to each other before, but I still feel an air of uneasiness when we're together."

I suppose you could call it that.

"I was pondering the matter this afternoon," he continues, "and I had a magnificent idea. Yuki Nagato... Would you like to come to my house for dinner this evening?"

My answer comes slowly. "...I am not sure."

"That's understandable." He shrugs. "Maybe you should consult with your friends? I'm sure they can offer some advice."

Without another word, I depart and follow his advice.

* * *

As I describe my situation to the rest of the SOS Brigade, I am met with a number of differing reactions. The first I notice is Mikuru Asahina's, who appears to be unsure in regards to how she feels about what she's been told. Kiyoshi appears undecided, and Itsuki Koizumi seems indifferent. Finally, Haruhi Suzumiya has an uneasy expression on her face, but does not seem to be as worried as Mikuru Asahina is.

"Akira Hirano..." She speaks slowly, as if chewing something with an unpleasant taste. "...Ah. I remember now. He's the president of the Supernatural Phenomena Research Society. Or he was, anyway."

"I remember them," Kiyoshi says. "You said they were a bunch of occult freaks. You think they've changed much since then?"

"How should I know," she says. "Still, if he's inviting you to dinner, then maybe he's a little nicer than I thought. A little. Or maybe he's just a pervert."

This suggestion in particular seems to worry Mikuru Asahina, but she remains silent.

"I'm sure Nagato can handle herself if something like that happens," Kiyoshi says. "You can go if you want to."

Haruhi nods. "If there's any trouble, just give me a call! Anyway, now that that's out of the way, I have an announcement to make!"

The rest of the brigade looks mildly intrigued, simply waiting for her to continue.

"For Christmas this year, Tsuruya is taking us to Canada!"

Kiyoshi appears impressed by this at first, but realization soon hits him, and he shudders noticeably. He repeatedly opens his mouth to speak, but keeps hesitating until he is finally able to voice his concerns.

"You're not expecting to meet Asakura there, are you?"

"Of course not," Haruhi says. "Canada's a big place. Do any of us even know where she's living?"

Kiyoshi quickly says "no," and the rest of us soon follow.

"There we have it then," she says. "We'll be going to Quebec, for anyone wondering. I haven't heard anything suspicious about where we're staying, but that's suspicious enough for me, so keep your eyes peeled! First prize goes to whoever finds a yeti!"

Having been, in Haruhi's words, 'pumped full of excitement' for the journey, we are dismissed, and I soon meet with Akira Hirano once more.

"Have you reached a decision?" he says.

I hesitate one second before answering. "I will go."

"I'm glad to hear it." He turns around, gesturing for me to follow him.

* * *

Akira Hirano's house is fairly large, with the interior resembling that of a manor in 19th century England. In the main hall, there is a very large bookcase, which I find to be convenient, as one can easily determine somebody's character based on what books they own.

I scan the shelves in a matter of seconds, and some titles that catch my attention include numerous stories by Howard Phillips Lovecraft, A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess, The Catcher in the Rye by Jerome David Salinger, and most notably, Red Dragon and its sequels by Thomas Harris. For those unfamiliar with the last title, it may help to know that among the sequels in question is The Silence of the Lambs, which I am sure needs no introduction.

"It surprises me," I say, "that I have not found Mein Kampf on these shelves."

He laughs in a manner that, from anyone else, might sound charismatic. "Are you serious? Hitler may have been a very influential man, but from what I've heard, his book is horrible. No, I choose the books you see here very carefully. If I don't like what I read, I burn it."

If I were able to express my disapproval through a change in facial expression, I would do so, but instead I decide to change the subject. "Are your parents home?"

"Oh, they're dead," he says casually. "But they left me in the care of some very talented servants. Speaking of which, please excuse me..." He retreats into an unknown room, returning after a few minutes. "Dinner's ready."

I follow him into the dining room, where I find what appears to be two steak dinners, but closer inspection reveals otherwise.

"Do you realize what this is?" I ask.

"I suppose there's no point in being subtle anymore," he says. "Yes, I do. And I quite enjoy it."

Despite having expected an answer to this effect, I remain unable to reply for almost a minute before speaking again.

"You eat human beings as though they were cattle..."

He chuckles dismissively. "The cattle I eat behave far more human than they do."

Again, I am temporarily rendered silent. When I am able to speak once again, I decide to change the subject.

"Earlier, you said that there was an air of uneasiness whenever we are together. I believe I have managed to reach a more specific conclusion. I cannot speak for both of us, but when I'm in your presence I feel a strong nausea."

He laughs, this time more loudly. "Are you confessing to me, Miss Nagato?"

I vomit on him, mostly out of spite but partially because I genuinely feel the need to. Before he is able to respond, I leave the house as quickly as possible and return to my own home.

* * *

After what I have seen today, I feel that I must go to bed, but before I can do so there is something I must do. I pick up the phone and call the police, informing them of what I have seen and where I have seen it, and as soon as they agree to investigate, the conversation ends, and I am about to get some rest when the phone suddenly rings.

"Good evening, Miss Nagato," Akira Hirano says. "I just wanted to say that I forgive you for what you did before you left earlier, but also, there's a question I'd like you to answer."

I consider hanging up the phone, but before I am able to do so he resumes speaking.

"If the Data Overmind is able to modify data, but isn't able to create it from scratch, then where did your physical body come from?"

I try to move, but something is preventing me from doing so.

"Oh, and by the way," he says, "I know your true identity. Good night!"

He hangs up the phone, and due to my inability to do the same, I instead drop mine. Slowly, and yet with little hesitation, I crawl into bed, eager for this day to end.


	2. Entry 2

**Entry 2**

**December 11th 2004**

Last night, I experienced a nightmare.

It began with me standing atop a hill, with a short tree in front of me. Soon, a harsh yet brief wind flew by, and the leaves were covered in frost. One of them fell from the tree, only for me to catch it, at which point I noticed my own reflection in the leaf.

I was surprised to find that, although the girl in the reflection shared my physical appearance, her demeanor was completely different, particularly the horrified expression frozen on her face. As well as this, there was something wrong with her eyes that I initially failed to identify. Closer inspection revealed that there was a crack in the eye, which then became several cracks. I was soon able to see another eye underneath the cracks, and in the context of the dream, I concluded that the eye had many layers, and that it was shedding the outer layer in the same way that a snake would shed its skin.

At first, the inner eye did not appear to be ready, as it looked unfocused and lifeless. However, as what is left of the outer layer fell from my face, the pupil narrowed, and my reflection looked directly at me. It was at this point that I was once again aware of my entire reflection as opposed to just the eye, and my horrified expression has been replaced with a cold stare. Unnerved by what I see, I quickly turned and ran to the bottom of the hill, where a small building consisting of one room was waiting for me. I rushed inside without a moment's hesitation, finding the place to be empty save for another frozen leaf stuck to the wall. I saw my reflection in the leaf once more and turned away, and before waking I found the following words written on the door.

"DON'T YOU THINK YOU SHOULD GIVE IT BACK?"

* * *

Since I have awoken, I have failed to interpret this dream, the final message being particularly baffling. I have no idea what "IT" could possibly be referring to, and I am ultimately undecided as to whether or not I even want to find out. After hours of pondering, I find that it is time to go to school, and, with some reluctance, I depart.

* * *

I once again meet with Mikuru Asahina at the school gates this morning, and in the process I gain a new appreciation for the phrase 'a sight for sore eyes'. Seeing her calms me considerably, and in spite of how small my changes in expression must be, she appears to be aware of this.

"A-are you okay, Miss Nagato?" she asks. "You look... tired."

"I had a troublesome night," I say. "The exact details may disturb you, and so I do not wish to relate them."

"I... I see," she says. "Well, I... I hope things improve for you soon!"

Before I am able to thank her, she rushes inside, just as she did the day before. And, much like the day before, my next meeting is with Kiyoshi.

"Hey, Nagato," he says. "How did last night go?"

I hesitate to answer, which apparently tells him everything he wants to know.

"That bad, huh?" He frowns. "Is it in your journal?"

"If you truly wish to read it," I say. "However, much of the content I have written so far may disturb you."

For those wondering, at this point my journal goes as far as the dream I had last night and its aftermath.

"Nagato," he says, "I'm your friend. If whatever's troubling you is as bad as it sounds, I have a right to know, so I can offer whatever support I can. I may not be able to do for you what you've done for me, but I'm still going to try, 'cause I'm stubborn like that."

"I... I see," I say. "...Thank you."

He smiles reassuringly as we depart, and for moment it seems as though today will be considerably more pleasant than the one before it.

* * *

As I walk towards my classroom, my thoughts become more and more optimistic, and while they do briefly return to Akira Hirano, I soon conclude that, thanks to last night's efforts, he has been arrested since I last heard from him, and now there is nothing to worry about.

It goes without saying how shocked I am to find him waiting alone for me in the classroom.

"Good morning, Miss Nagato," he says. "I'd like to thank you for the meal you ordered for me last night. I haven't had time to try them yet, but luckily, there's some room for them in my freezer."

I try to ignore him, but he continues speaking regardless.

"Unfortunately, if you decide to keep doing this, then I'll run out of room fairly quickly, so I must ask that you stop. Do you understand?"

"I seem to recall," I say, "that yesterday, you said that there was 'no point in being subtle anymore'. Has something changed since then?"

"Well, we _are_ in a public place," he says. "But since nobody else is here, I suppose I can simplify what I said for you. If you continue to bother me like this, I will kill you."

"Your actions confuse me," I say. "If you hadn't invited me to your house yesterday, you might have continued to get away with what it is you're doing. Again, I must ask: Has something changed?"

"As a matter of fact," he says, "something has. The other day was the first time I decided to give cannibalism a try, and at the time I simply failed to consider the possibility that you might notice. When you did, I realized that if you chose to respond to my decision, it wouldn't be pretty, so I decided to invite you over just to show you what kind of person you were dealing with. Unfortunately, you didn't seem to get the hint, so I'll ask you once more: Stay out of my business, and I'll stay out of yours. Understood?"

I do not answer.

"You're an intelligent person, Miss Nagato," he says. "I'll assume for your sake that you do understand, and we'll leave it at that."

Before he can say anything more, other students begin to arrive, and he focuses his attention on the front of the room. I spend the rest of the day trying to ignore him, and for the most part, I am successful in these efforts.

* * *

Among the members of the SOS Brigade, things are relatively peaceful, although Haruhi is waiting impatiently for our journey to Canada.

"Isn't it weird how a creature from a certain place's folklore will appear exclusively in that place?" she says. "I mean, I guess it makes sense with things like the Loch Ness Monster, since that's kind of stuck there forever, but... You don't hear any stories about someone finding a Tsuchinoko in England, or Sasquatch in Egypt."

"Egypt is a terrible place for Sasquatch," Kiyoshi says. "Can you imagine being in a desert with all that fur?"

"Kyon..." She frowns. "That's not really something you should ask a lady. I hope for your sake that Mikuru didn't even hear that one."

"Wha...?" Mikuru Asahina suddenly sits upright, her mind apparently having been elsewhere throughout the conversation. "Um, yes... But where are we going to find a hundred and one hamsters?"

Kiyoshi and Haruhi look at one another, something more than confusion evident on both of their faces. The silence continues for a while until finally I decide to finish reading, at which point the others typically agree that now is a good time for them to return home. As promised, Kiyoshi visits my house in order to read my journal.

* * *

When Kiyoshi first reads the journal, it is not long before his facial expression changes from intrigue to surprise, leading me to wonder if he is a faster reader than I had initially believed. It takes me longer than I care to admit to remember the journal's original purpose, at which point I finally realize that Kiyoshi has just learned of my feelings for Mikuru Asahina. It takes him several minutes before he is able to continue reading. It takes him nearly an hour to finish the entire journal, and when he puts it down he is visibly shaken.

"That's... kind of a lot to take in," he says. "I'm not even sure where to start..."

Silence once again prevails for nearly half an hour, after which he finally speaks again.

"I don't know why," he says, "but that dream reminded me of that story you wrote for the Literature Club Newsletter. If you had a copy, I might be able to put my finger on why..."

I retrieve a copy, and he barely has to read a single page before finding what he is looking for.

"Here it is... 'I knew that I was once named Yuki'... And then there's this... 'Where was I? Why was I here?'. I can't really put the connection I'm seeing here into words, but you see it too, right?"

I think I understand. In the story I wrote, the protagonist had a life prior to becoming a ghost, but remembers little of it. In the dream, I behaved more human than I do in reality before being... replaced, for lack of a better word, by my usual self.

"Also," he continues, "when the journal mentions that you have a horrified expression on your face, I can't help but picture the version of you I saw in that alternate reality you created."

I nod understandingly. Although my memories of that incident are incomplete, I am still able to see the similarities that he is referring to.

"I'm just speculating here," he says. "...but do you think it's possible that you used to be human, but have no memory of it?"

"I... I do not know."

"I'm sorry," he says. "That's a big thing to ask, even for someone like you. But... I think that's all the more reason for us to seek out the answer."

Although I agree with him, I cannot express this as I currently seem to have difficulty speaking. When I am finally able to do so, it is not in response to what he has said.

"I think... I need some time to think."

"I understand." He stands up, ready to leave. "And... on the lighter side of things... good luck with Asahina, ok?"

I nod. "Thank you."

He walks towards the door and opens it, frowning upon finding another visitor on the other side.

"Oh, it's _you_," he says. "Kuyoh Suoh."

Kiyoshi still has difficulty trusting Kuyoh Suoh, due to an incident involving her trying to kill Haruhi Suzumiya. However, he has acknowledged that she was blindly following orders at the time, and has since changed considerably. In spite of this, he still has yet to fully forgive her, and surprisingly enough, she seems to understand this.

Due to it being one of my objectives to observe her, and one of her objectives being to achieve autonomy, which she believes I am the most notable example of, we meet on a regular basis, although much of our time spent together consists of me listening to her increasingly inane chatter. Last time we met, she claimed that her new ambition in life was to create the world's first puppen.

"I'd best be going now," Kiyoshi says. "I wouldn't want to interrupt whatever it is that goes on between you two."

He departs with haste, and as soon as he is gone, Kuyoh Suoh walks towards me and sits opposite me.

"Project Puppen-has been cancelled-" she says.

"That is a shame," I say. "Did you not say that the project was 72% complete?"

"I lied-" she says. "I wanted to see what it was like."

"To lie?"

"Yes. Have you tried it?"

Realizing that this is not a good time for one of these conversations, I quickly change the subject. "I have a favour to ask of you."

"That certainly-sounds exciting," she says. "What is it?"

"In my school, there is a Supernatural Phenomena Research Society. Its president has recently proven to be a very suspicious individual, and I would like you to infiltrate the society and learn what you can about him. If you are accepted, I would like you to make no mention of me."

"I-see."

"This may be a very dangerous task," I say, "and you are free to refuse it if you so desire. But th..."

"I would-like to do this-infiltration is so thrilling!"

"I see," I say. "Thank you. You may begin tomorrow, after school has finished."

"Of course-" She smiles, a gesture she has yet to perfect. Of course, she has made more progress than I have, so I am not in the best of positions to criticize. "I'll-be going now. Goodbye."

She disappears into thin air, in a similar fashion to the image on a television when it is suddenly unplugged. I have told her repeatedly not to do this in public, but she still does it whenever she can, simply because, in her own words, "it's something that-makes me me."

As I originally intended, I spend the last few hours of the day thinking about what I originally discussed with Kiyoshi. Eventually I decide that, while it will most likely be unpleasant, more clues may come to me while I am asleep. As such, I soon go to bed, despite being considerably more reluctant than I was the night before.


	3. Entry 3

**Entry 3  
December 12th 2004**

Just as I had expected, but hoped against, I experienced another nightmare last night. Although it had the same effect on me as the previous, it was far simpler, and can be described thusly.

In the dream, I murdered two people, and judging by how they addressed me, these people were most likely my parents.

I now hope more than ever that there is no truth behind my paranoia. In my desperation, I think back to any possible hole in the theory when I suddenly realize that this all began with Akira Hirano's phone call.

_"If the Data Overmind is able to modify data, but isn't able to create it from scratch, then where did your physical body come from?"_

For now, I have decided that the doubt I am currently experiencing is nothing more than the result of a psychological attack. If Kuyoh Suoh's investigation goes as planned, I may receive the answers I am looking for.

* * *

I do not meet with Mikuru Asahina or Kiyoshi at the school gates, and the rest of the day is fairly uneventful. Akira Hirano seems to be satisfied that I am leaving him alone. At first, I was worried that he would somehow be aware of my plan, just as he has inexplicably managed to learn of such things in the past. Needless to say, the fact that he is unaware of my intentions is quite a relief.

* * *

Once again, Mikuru Asahina is quick to notice that something is troubling me. Throughout the afternoon, she seems as though she intends to offer me something, but she abandons her train of thought before returning to it minutes later. This process repeats many times, and at one point, she mutters the words 'means so much to me,' but I do not have the context necessary to understand what she may mean by this.

Suddenly, the door flies open, though none of us are surprised with this, as we all know very well who the only person who makes that kind of entrance is.

"'Zzup, cats and kittens!" Haruka Tsuruya greets us with a broad grin. "Harls, did you remember to tell them the trip's tomorrow?"

"You never told me the date," Haruhi says.

"I didn't?" She playfully slaps her forehead. "Frig! I knew I was forgetting something like that! What's that, dad? You want me to handle all these complex business negotiations when I grow up? Too bad, your only heir's got a brain the size of a pea! I sure hope the other business negotiators are okay with me just flipping the table and saying 'I WANT MONEY'! ...Where was I? Oh yeah, WHOOPS."

"That's okay," Haruhi says, "because I prepared as soon as you told me. Is everyone else ready?"

"No," we chorus.

"Well, I'm very disappointed in all of you," she says. "But one evening should be long enough. Right?"

The rest of the brigade mutters something to the effect of 'I suppose so'.

"Right!" Haruka Tsuruya pumps her fist into the air encouragingly. "Now that we're done with that..." She reaches behind her back produces a cardboard box from...

...Where could she possibly have been keeping that?

"Who wants to play Monopoly?"

Her sudden suggestion scores a stunned silence.

"My dad wants me to handle all these complex business negotiations when I grow up," she continues, "and he suggested this to help prepare me for it! Now, as we all know, Monopoly is the ultimate form of torture, designed to keep us from taking everything else in life for granted. But I figured, it might be fun with you guys! It's like, you go to see a cruddy movie, and you're like 'ugh' the whole way through. But if you go to see it with pals, suddenly you're all pointing and laughing at it! Especially if said pals are a pair of snarky robots, but who needs them when I've got you guys?"

"Well I'll be willing to play," Itsuki Koizumi says, "so long as nobody flips any tables."

Haruka Tsuruya laughs loudly as the places the box on the main table. "No promises, man. _Especially_ if someone else picks the shoe."

We set up the game, and the role of the shoe goes to Haruka Tsuruya. I choose the top hat.

As the game progresses, we soon find out why Haruka Tsuruya chose the shoe: She enjoys prefacing all complex business negotiations with 'Hello, I am literally a shoe'. Somehow, I get the feeling that many of us silently hope that she will manage to take this catchphrase into the world of business. Because every dull bureaucracy needs their own Haruka Tsuruya to keep smiles on faces.

The players, in order of when they lost, are as follows: Itsuki Koizumi, Mikuru Asahina, Kiyoshi Kujo, myself, Haruhi Suzumiya, and Haruka Tsuruya, who attributes her success to 'literally being a shoe'.

Mikuru Asahina seems particularly disappointed with her loss, repeatedly muttering to herself that she needs to do better. This reminds me that both she and Haruka Tsuruya share genetic material, and suggests the possibility that in her own time, Mikuru Asahina is the heir to the Tsuruya family. When she notices that Haruhi has overheard her, she reacts the same way she normally does when accidentally revealing details about the future, possibly reinforcing my theory.

* * *

The moment I arrive home, I receive a call on the telephone from Kuyoh Suoh. Her progress is as follows.

"Hello. I was greeted-with open arms. They offered me someone to eat-and I accepted."

"Are you referring to a human?"

"Yes."

"You should not have eaten them."

"Why not? How is it different-from eating any other species?"

For reasons I do not fully understand, this elicits a brief silence from me. "I shall explain... later. In the meantime, I must know what you learned from your visit."

"There was another new member," she says. "Aya Belgard."

I am familiar with this name. She is a girl in my class, and if asked to describe her in three words, I would choose 'athletic', 'competitive', and 'popular'. For reasons I do not fully understand, she appears to resent me. It is possible that Akira Hirano is trying to take advantage of this by using her against me.

"Try to convince her to leave," I say. "It is highly likely that she is unaware of what she is getting involved with."

"I'll see-what I can do." She hangs up the phone, and I follow.

I spend the rest of the night wondering whether or not I should go to sleep. Although I have no doubt that doing so would be unpleasant, I conclude that, even if I do not sleep tonight, I will have to do so eventually, as even my kind needs energy.

I can only hope that whatever I experience tonight won't be any worse than what I have experienced prior.


	4. Entry 4

**Entry 4**

**December 13th 2004**

As expected, another nightmare. Although it is not as simple as last night's, the description will be just as brief, for the sake of anybody reading.

In the dream, I felt an unwelcome presence inside my body, and I made many attempts to get it out before ultimately resorting to self-mutilation.

Fortunately, the dream is cut short when I hear Haruhi's voice on the intercom.

"Hey Yuki! We're leaving in an hour and a half, and Kyon says you probably haven't put much thought into packing..."

"What I _didn't_ say," Kiyoshi says, "was 'let's rush over and wake her from what might be her first chance to get a decent sleep in days'..."

"She was right to wake me," I interrupt. "I have not yet prepared for the journey, and I shall do so immediately."

"See?" Haruhi somehow manages to speak with an audible grin. "Yuki's got her priorities straight. She can sleep on the way there if she needs to."

Kiyoshi grumbles unintelligibly as I pack the books most likely to keep me awake through the journey. And a toothbrush. Hygiene is important.

* * *

At 10AM, we arrive at the Tsuruya family's private airport, where a small jet is waiting for us.

"Hey Kyon," Haruka Tsuruya says. "Your sister didn't stow away again, did she? There's only room for six passengers on this thing."

Kiyoshi double-checks his luggage. "No sign of her. Unless..." He reaches into his pockets. "...nope. She's safe and sound at home. No idea how I managed that."

We get onto the jet to find that one of Itsuki Koizumi's associates, Sonoh Mori, will be working as a stewardess.

"Welcome aboard." She smiles politely. "This flight will take eleven hours, and we should get there by seven in the morning."

Ironically, Mikuru Asahina appears to be the most confused by this.

"We have special earplugs for anyone whose ears might be sensitive to certain altitudes," she continues. "Any questions?"

Haruhi raises her hand. "Why do you keep changing jobs?"

Sonoh Mori chuckles. "I'm trying to earn enough money to... Well, that's a secret."

* * *

Although I planned to read throughout the entire journey, my body apparently has other plans. Although I greatly fear another nightmare, I eventually fall asleep, and I soon discover why my body was so insistent on doing so.

"I was wondering when I would be able to speak to you again."

_Well, now you have your opportunity,_ the Data Overmind says. _I understand that you have a question for me._

"I do. But I am not certain that you will answer truthfully."

_Yuki Nagato. What reason would I have to lie to you?_

"..."

_Precisely._

"Then how was my physical body created?"

_By sacrificing a great deal of energy that I still have yet to recover._

"And yet you were able to create Ryoko Asakura and Emiri Kimidori at roughly the same time."

_Their creation, as well as yours, was predetermined. I was aware of this, and I therefore had no choice._

Being reminded how much of a nuisance predetermined events can be, I decide to drop the subject for now.

_By the way, Emiri Kimidori has a message to relay to you from Kuyoh Suoh. Although she claims that it is an important message, she had nothing more to say than 'you are being followed'._

"...Do you know who is following me?"

_If I did, there would be no need to relay the message._

It abruptly decides that our conversation is over, and promptly returns me to reality, where we are nearing our destination.

"Good morning, I guess." Kiyoshi chuckles nervously. "You sleep okay? You look like you needed that."

I pause to consider my answer. "...I suppose I did."

"We will be landing in ten minutes," Sonoh Mori says. "Please fasten your seatbelts."

We do so, and when we land, I feel as though it has been significantly less than ten minutes. Disregarding this, I follow the others outside the airport, which happens to be built next to a graveyard.

"What's the matter, Mikuru?" Haruka Tsuruya asks. "Don't you like graveyards?"

"I could never get used to the idea of them," she says. "All those bodies... just lying there..."

"I take it you're more into cremation then," Kiyoshi says. "Probably the way of the future, considering how we're running out of space and everything."

"Yes..." she says absentmindedly. "They... Ah! I suppose... they will..."

Upon realizing that he has accidentally tricked her into revealing details about the future, Kiyoshi looks apologetic, but says nothing. We continue on our way, but I find myself stopping when a distant trio of headstones catch my eye.

KIYOSHI NAGATO (1953-2000)

BEVERLY TANGUAY NAGATO (1958-2000)

YUKI TANGUAY NAGATO (1988-2000)

I am not sure how long I stare at these for, but Haruhi eventually captures my attention again.

"What's up?" she says. "See any weird foreign names?"

I do not answer, instead choosing to continue walking. Moments later, we notice that something is amiss.

"Where's Mikuru?" Haruhi asks. "She was with you guys just two seconds ago, wasn't she?"

Haruka Tsuruya looks to her left and gasps. "She's...! I mean..." She attempts to calm herself. "...She's probably just wandered off or something. You know what she's like."

"I will look for her," I say. "Will anybody be joining me?"

Both Haruka Tsuruya and Haruhi appear to consider, but a single glance from Kiyoshi dissuades them both.

I begin my search for her, alone. I am unsure where to begin, but something tells me that whoever has been following me has something to do with this, and if I look for them, they will presumably find me.

As soon as it is too late for anybody to reconsider joining me, my suspicions are confirmed, and my pursuer reveals... herself?

"If it isn't wondergirl herself..." Aya Belgard sneers. "I was hoping to run into you, otherwise the last eleven hours would have been a colossal waste of time."

"I presume you are here because Akira Hirano wants you to be?" I say.

"You make it sound like he's using me or something." She laughs. "Which he is, I guess. But I've got everything under control. Besides, he had to send me because he doesn't speak French. So long as I finally get to prove myself, I don't care what he does."

"Prove yourself?"

"You wouldn't understand," she says. "You've always stood at the very top without breaking a sweat. You wouldn't understand hard work if it slapped you in the face. Meanwhile, I have to pour everything I've got into what I do, and I have to settle for second best, if even _that_. Akira says it's because you're an alien." She scoffs bitterly. "Figures. Of course, then he says you only think you're an alien, and that's when things get confusing. I take it you've seen what became of your family by now?"

I do not reply.

"Thought so." She laughs. "Of course, you have no reason to believe me _or_ him, but you _were_ human. Then that 'Data Overmind' turned you into one of its machines and had you completely erase your past life."

"I am not a machine."

"Sure you are," she says. "You're one of those heartless metal shells that exists to collect information and store it in a bigger machine. You may wake up one morning and see the sunrise, but you'll never feel it. To you, it's probably just a big ball of burning gas that'll die out someday. No, I take that back. To you, it's probably just a big ball of burning gas. You don't care if it dies. You don't care if anyone..."

Suddenly, I run up to her and grab her by the collar. "_Where is Mikuru Asahina_?"

She laughs once again. "But there's an exception, isn't there? I'm not sure who it is, though. You claim to be in love with her, but that doesn't stop you from constantly sucking Kiyoshi's..."

I punch her. It takes me a while to realize that the punch should have been fatal, and yet she continues to breathe, grinning at me like an insect under a magnifying glass.

"Did I mention I'm not human either now?" she says. "Like Akira, I was converted by a being very similar to the Data Overmind. The main difference? _It told me the truth._ Also, it let me hold on to my humanity."

Looking back at our conversation so far, I sincerely doubt that.

"When you first discovered the Heavenly Canopy Dominion," she continues, "you gave it that name because, to you, 'it came from the Heavens'. We don't really have a name for our entity, but if ever encountered it, you'd probably conclude that it was from Hell, and name it accordingly. For machines, you're kind of melodramatic like that."

"I am _not_ a machine."

"That's the second time you've said that now," she says. "Is that how you're programmed to respond whenever someone calls you a machine?"

I throw her to the ground.

"_Where is Mikuru Asahina_?"

"Okay, fine," she says. "I don't really have anything else to say to you, so... You can have her!"

Although I have paid little attention to my surroundings during the past few minutes, I am fairly certain that they have now changed, as I am now in the middle of a hectic snowstorm. I take a few steps, at which point I notice Mikuru Asahina lying face up in the snow. As soon as I pick her up, she awakens, but not completely.

"Yu... Miss Nagato...?" She murmurs. "Where... are we...?"

"I do not know," I say. "But we cannot stay." I wrap her arm around my shoulders, allowing me to support her as we search for somewhere safe.

It does not take too long before I realize how similar this situation is to one I faced last year. The main difference is that, instead of the entire SOS Brigade being present, it is just Mikuru Asahina and I. Last time, we found a suspicious house where we had no choice but to stay. I find myself wondering if same will happen this year. If the entity Aya Belgard described really is similar to the Heavenly Canopy Dominion, then it is highly probable.

As we continue to explore the area, Mikuru begins to lose consciousness, causing me to become more desperate. Just as it seems as though I will have to carry her, I notice a building on the horizon, looking far less well maintained than the house we encountered last year. Regardless, we head inside, where I quickly find a bedroom where she can rest.

Even when she is in bed, and her body is fully covered, her body heat is not returning as quickly as I had hoped, and I soon decide that I should be able to transfer my own body heat if I climb into the bed with her. Upon doing so, I realize that one of her gloves has been misplaced on the way here, and as a result her hand is significantly colder than the rest of her body. I am able to remedy this by holding the hand in my own, although this has the unexpected side effect of making both of our faces significantly warmer. Although I do not fully understand, I decide not to question it, which is fairly easy considering how distracting it is to be with Mikuru Asahina like this.

In less than an hour, I fall asleep, and what follows is most pleasant sleep I've had in days, if not longer.


	5. Entry 5

**Entry 5**

**December 13th 2004**

Unfortunately, I remember nothing of what I dreamed during the last few hours, only that it involved Mikuru Asahina, and it was wonderful. When I look outside, I find that the sun is considerably more visible than it was earlier. It reminds me of what Aya Belgard said to me earlier, but this does nothing to ruin my mood, as it allows me to realize just how wrong she was. While it is true that I am still unable to smile, I can definitely feel progress being made towards that.

I try to get out of bed, but I am stopped when Mikuru Asahina's hand tightens around mine. A quick check reveals that she is still asleep, and so I decide to remain until she awakens. It is roughly half an hour before she does so, but I hesitate to describe the time prior to this as 'waiting', as that is a term I have come to associate with such unpleasant experiences as enduring a time loop for centuries.

"Ah..." She rubs her eyes, seeming more aware of her surroundings and the events that lead up to this when she is finished. "...Good morning, Miss Nagato... What time is it?"

"It is six minutes past ten," I answer. "You have been asleep for nearly three hours."

"Oh... Well, I'm feeling much better now that I have," she says. "How are you feeling?"

I briefly consider my answer. "...Excellent."

"I'm glad to hear it!" She smiles. "What do you think we should do now? We could find something useful in this house..."

"That is a good idea." I get out of bed, only remembering at the last moment to let go of her hand. In doing so, I learn that she was never consciously aware that I was doing so to begin with, as she looks at the hand in question and blushes.

"Oh," she says. "Looks like I lost one of my gloves."

"You can borrow one of mine," I say. "...if you want to."

"Thank you..." She accepts the glove and leaves the room. Immediately, I go after her.

"It might be safer for you to foll..."

As soon as I leave the room, I realize that Mikuru Asahina is once again nowhere to be found. Instead, I find an old acquaintance I could never have expected to meet.

"...Ryoko Asakura."

"Surprised to see me?" She smiles maliciously. "It wasn't easy for me. Even Haruhi Suzumiya realized that the chances of me being here were slim. Manifesting successfully was like climbing out of Hell with a spider's thread, not to mention some help from a certain Ms. Belgard. The same goes for everyone else here."

I wait for her to elaborate.

"Listen..." She pauses. "...Do you feel that? When a human being dies, the body and the consciousness are separated. Without a physical brain, the consciousness is minimally aware of itself, let alone its surroundings. If you should manage to elevate its awareness, like I have with anybody else you might happen to meet in this house, then it realizes that it's supposed to be dead, and the fact that it's suddenly awake again is maddening. More often than not, it reacts by screaming and lashing out at any living being it sees. I believe living humans call them... ghosts."

Having learned nothing new from this monologue, I do not react. At least, not to the monologue itself.

"Where is Mikuru Asahina?"

"She shouldn't really be your most pressing concern right now..."

Reminded of my conversation with Aya Belgard, I attempt to punch her, only for my fist to phase through her.

"You'll have to think harder than that!" She laughs mockingly. "How can you expect to make physical contact when, logically, I shouldn't even be here? I'm already sacrificing a great deal of energy here. If I put just a little more into it, I'd disappear completely! Which, to be honest, seems kind of inevitable at the moment."

"Before you go," I say, "there is something I would like to address. Have you ever suspected that your body once belonged to a human?"

"Not while I was 'alive'," she says. "But after you rewrote the universe and restored me, I left the experience with memories of my previous life."  
Having finally received a conclusive answer from a trustworthy source, my only response is silence.

"But the original Ryoko Asakura is dead now," she continues. "And since she's not using her body, I don't see any problem in taking it from her. There's really no need to go into self-loathing about it."

"How can you call it that," I mutter, "when neither one of us has a 'self' to loathe."

An uncomfortable silence passes, during which neither of us can guess how the other is feeling.

"I'm sorry, Yuki," she says, her sincerity ambiguous at best. "I just don't see these things the way you do. We're all but a small part of the Data Overmind's consciousness. I'm among many beings who represent its occasional impatience. For a while, I wasn't sure about you, but I think I understand now."

Again, I wait for her to continue.

"Yuki Nagato... You're a part of its conscience."

I hesitate to voice my next concern. "...When I consulted the Data Overmind about this, it stated that it had nothing to gain from lying about such a matter."

She laughs dismissively. "Oh, I doubt that. Knowing that thing, it probably said something like 'why would I ever lie to you', right?"

I nod slowly.

"You interpreted it as a rhetorical question," she continues, "as it expected you to. But there _is_ an answer, and it was testing to see if you knew that answer."

Again, I silently await her explanation.

"It's lying to you because it's afraid of you. Or more specifically, you and your friends."

The more I consider this, the more sense it makes. Something tells me that, during our next conversation, it will have to choose its words very carefully.

Speaking of which, Ryoko Asakura and I remain in silence, until, without warning, she returns to her malicious state and smiles at me.

"In less than a minute, I'll be gone," she says. "Afterwards, you're free to search for Asahina if you really think you'll find her. You could overcome a human opponent with ease, but I think you'll find that after death, they're considerably different."

She disappears before I am able to reply, but I feel obligated to do so regardless.

"I am not afraid of any ghost."

* * *

In a matter of minutes, it becomes apparent to me that this house does not follow the laws of physics as humanity recognizes them. If, for example, you were to walk through a door, turn 180 degrees, and walk through it again, you will have been in three rooms as a result. This is no surprise to me, as Ryoko Asakura has often stated that manipulation of spatial data is her specialty.

It soon occurs to me that the 'ghosts' she has summoned (none of which I have seen as of yet) may not have been as effective as she had expected, forcing her to compensate by distorting the architecture. Indeed, when I finally do encounter a 'ghost', it retreats elsewhere upon noticing my presence.

Unfortunately, my luck seems to run out there, as the next 'ghost' I encounter turns out to be part of a group, and strength in numbers is in full effect. With nothing but their combined will, which is significantly stronger without the restraint provided by a physical body, I am forced to retreat, and I am soon completely lost. For a humanoid interface like myself, being aware of one's geographical location is just as much a sense as sight or touch, and as such losing it is quite distressing. The sensation can also be compared to an intense dizziness.

Eventually, I arrive in a room where I feel overwhelmingly unwelcome, and yet no exit is available. I am offered no alternative but to wait for an opportunity to present itself, but when I find out why I was brought to this room, I begin to wish that I had made more of an effort to escape. All around me, I feel a presence I have never experienced before, but know all too well.

The ghost of Yuki Tanguay Nagato is in this room with me.

For a period of time I am unable to determine, no thought comes to my mind. This too is like losing a sense, but this time I barely notice the sensation. As a matter of fact, I am aware of practically nothing until the ghost begins to gain a visible form. It takes a while for me to associate this image with the being I had originally envisioned, as the horrified expression I have become accustomed to has been replaced with an unreadable frown.

She slowly places a hand on each of my shoulders as she leans closer to me, and as soon as I have abandoned all hope of leaving this house alive, she whispers into my ear.

"I forgive you."

It takes me a long time to process these words, but once I have, I am no longer inside the house, and Mikuru Asahina is with me. I am once again able to determine our location, and we are less than a quarter of a mile away from where I left Kiyoshi and the others. At first, I am worried to realize that we made them wait three hours, if not longer, for our return, but then I notice that the sun has barely risen, indicating that more time has passed inside the house than outside.

Before we depart, I take another opportunity to watch the sun rise. While I do so, I feel an unfamiliar sensation on my face, but I choose to ignore it until it elicits a gasp from Mikuru Asahina.

"Yuki," she says, "you're smiling!" She suddenly embraces me. "You look wonderful!"

The formerly unfamiliar sensation becomes more prominent, and after roughly a minute my cheeks begin to hurt. Regardless, I continue to smile throughout the journey back, which does not go unnoticed by the others. Most of them simply smile back, but Kiyoshi has more to say on the matter in private.

"So..." He pauses, carefully choosing his next words. "...did you and Asahina... did you hook up?"

"Not yet," I say regretfully. "But... I feel as though I have regained my humanity."

"Congratulations!" he says sincerely. "...Wait. Does this mean you're really...?"

"It does," I say. "But I have managed to... Where do I begin?"

"I take it it's a long story then," he says.

I nod.

"Well... It'll be in your journal, right?"

Having forgotten about the journal for a while now, I do not immediately answer. "It will."

"We're here!" Haruka Tsuruya stops in front of a large manor and places her hands on her sides. "Y'all can relax now. Give that jet lag a good kick where it hurts. Maybe get a bite to eat."

We make our way inside, and although I have already slept three hours, I once again feel the need to do so, perhaps due partially to the fact that the previous rest in question technically did not happen.

Whatever the reason may be, I choose a bedroom and retire. For the first time, I am eager to discover what kind of dreams I will be experiencing.


	6. Entry 6

**Entry 6**

**December 13th 2004**

Before I fell asleep, I suspected that another conversation with the Data Overmind might follow. My guess has since proven to be correct, and I must confess that I quite enjoy knowing how nervous it is currently feeling.

"You have many things to explain," I say.

_Very well,_ it responds. _First and foremost, I feel the need to clarify that nothing I said during our previous conversation was a lie, in spite of what you have recently learned. Your creation did indeed require a great deal of energy I have yet to recover, and the event was predetermined. I had no choice but to..._

"...to kill the original Yuki Nagato," I finish. "If the event was predetermined, then what would you have done alternatively?"

_I would have chosen somebody else,_ it says. _From the moment I became aware of her, I knew she would be dangerous as an interface._

"_You know, that really isn't helping your case."_

From an unknown area behind my field of vision, Yuki Tanguay Nagato emerges, looking fairly irritable.

"_I may have forgiven my successor here, but don't expect me to forgive _you _for a while."_

The Data Overmind is evidently shocked by this decision. _You... She... Do you realize how dangerous this is?_

"_Dangerous for us, or dangerous for you?"_

_Let me put it to you this way: Imagine if any 'ghost' could reunite with its original body._

"_Maybe you should have considered that _before _you started animating dead bodies, Herbert West. I could never have managed this if not for you. And besides, this is only a small part of me. I can only manifest at certain times, and it looks like one of those times is when she's talking to you. Won't that be fun?"_

Although I seem to hear what sounds like a frustrated sigh, I soon dismiss it as my imagination.

_This is not why I wished to speak to you. I wanted to inform you - by which I mean the current Yuki Nagato - that we have a common enemy and must take action as soon as possible._

"Elaborate," I say.

_You will recall the entity that Aya Belgard described to you. The one that, according to her, did to her and Akira Hirano what I did to you. I was not aware of this entity's existence until she mentioned it, and now that I am, I see that it must be destroyed as soon as possible. It was originally a curious being, seeking the origin of itself, the universe, and the laws that govern it. It learned of the Big Bang, but was determined to look further and further back, and it was ultimately unable to find the answers it wanted and concluded that before the beginning, there was nothing. Finally, it reached the conclusion that, since one cannot create something from nothing, the universe should not logically exist, and it is now determined to 'fix' this 'error'. Simply put, its goal has shifted from exploration to omnicide, and four years ago it targeted Haruhi Suzumiya as a means to this end._

Of course.

_As you can see, your little existential crisis is insignificant in the face of this threat, and you have nothing to gain from confronting me about your problems until this entity has been destroyed._

Before the conversation can end just as abruptly as the last one, I ask one final question.

"Do you have a name for this entity?"

_No._

For reasons I do not understand, this answer feels as though it carries a lot of weight.

_I have not named it, I cannot name it, and I will not name it._

Just as I am processing this statement, I am forced to reawaken.

* * *

I once again wake up to the sight of Mikuru Asahina, which is certainly something I can get used to. The main difference is that this time, it is an older version of her from further in the future, and she looks rather shaken.

"Hello, Miss Nagato," she says nervously. "I have an important matter to discuss with you."

"I am listening."

"When you and my younger self visited that house," she says, "it caused a fluctuation in history. I didn't even remember the incident until very recently, and I think my personal timeline may be at risk."

I find myself unable to respond.

"D-don't worry..." She stutters. "My other self is perfectly safe, because it's her future and not her past that's being affected. And while it's true that this particular version of me may cease to exist... I think it will be for the better."

I still have nothing to say.

"You see," she says, "in that house, you and I became considerably closer, and that's where the change begins. You may have noticed that I often behave extremely nervous around you, even at this age."

I nod.

"That's because..." She pauses, then sighs loudly. "...even now, it's hard to say it." She takes a deep breath and looks me in the eye.

"Yuki... I love you."

…

Since I started this journal, many things said to me have left me at a loss for words. But none of them can compare to this.

"But even when I returned to my own time and we separated for good..." Tears begin to form in her eyes. "...nothing happened between us." She smiles melancholically. "But it looks as though that's changing now... And as long as I can be happy in one timeline, I don't mind which one it is." She briefly ceases wiping her tears and looks me in the eye once more. "But first, I have to ask... Yuki... Do you love me?"

I respond by rushing over to her and embracing her, which startles her, most likely because I was moving faster than humanly possible.

"I do."

We spend the next ten minutes in each other's arms. Not a word is exchanged between us, and not a word needs to be. For the second time in my life, I smile.

Eventually, Mikuru speaks again. "In the time travel community, there are two kinds of people... There are linearists, who want to ensure that the timeline they're living in is preserved at all costs... And there are optimists, who work towards what they see as the optimal timeline even if it means risking their own. I'm an optimist, but I work in a linearist agency, so things are very difficult for me. Because it's impossible to agree on what timeline would be 'the best', optimists are often seen as selfish. I suppose they're right, but... in this case, I don't see any harm in being selfish."

A thought occurs to me. "If you are at risk of being erased, is there anything you desire from me before you go?"

She considers this question for a long time, and when she answers, it differs only slightly from what I expected (and hoped) to hear.

"A kiss would be nice," she says, "but if it's on the lips... That would be your first kiss, right?"

I nod.

"I may not be able to explain this very well," she says, "but I think that might cause some complication with my younger self. So... could you kiss me on the cheek?"

I am happy to oblige, and in doing so her pulse becomes noticeably faster. Unexpectedly, she returns the favor, and afterwards she looks happily at my face, leading me to presume that she is admiring my smile.

"I have to go now," she says, tears returning to her face. "This may be the last time you ever see this version of me, so... Goodbye, Yuki."

We embrace one last time before she disappears from this time plane. I consider returning to bed, but a knock on the door soon disrupts these thoughts.

"Nagatochi!" Haruka Tsuruya calls. "You've been asleep for weeks! Luckily, we're in a different timezone, so to us it's only been six hours... But that's still a lot of friggin' hours! Everyone's really excited to play this board game, but we all agree we can't play it without you!"

Intrigued, I open the door, where Haruhi is also waiting for me.

"Come on down!" she says. "She's brought the most amazing game ever with her. Just wait 'til you see it!"

We head downstairs, and before I am able to get a good look at the box, Haruka Tsuruya holds it proudly above her head, and, with a rather impressive pirate impression, states the name of the game.

"Rattle Me Bones!"

I am one hundred percent invested in this.

The game revolves around a small plastic skeleton covered in numerous items frequently associated with pirates. Players must take turns spinning a wheel to determine which object to take, and they must take the object with caution, so as not to trigger a mechanism that causes the skeleton to rattle and shake. It is a rather intense game.

For Mikuru, it is especially intense. Whenever the skeleton rattles, her reaction is the most noticeable, and she is overly cautious whenever her turn comes. Both Haruka Tsuruya and Kiyoshi insist repeatedly that she does not have to play the game if it frightens her, but she is clearly determined to play, and win. Her courage is admirable, and, to the surprise of many, she wins the game.

"Mikuru, that was awesome!" Haruka Tsuruya cheers. "Those bones were all, 'don't rattle me', and you were all, 'ok', and then you didn't rattle the bones! You can finally rest in peace, cap'n! ...Well, until we get bored and decide to play again."

The rest of the day is incredibly peaceful, much to my relief. However, a small voice inside me insists that there is something that I should be doing, and it takes me longer than I care to admit to realize what I should be doing.

"While I am here," I say, "there is a place I must visit. Alone."

The others are unsure, but they eventually conclude that it must be important. I am allowed outside, and my journey begins.

* * *

The graveyard is covered in a thick fog, allowing just enough light to indicate that it is midday. Even the snow is eerie, as it falls infrequently as if every individual flake is alone and unsure of itself. If I had a phobia of graveyards, I would see this place in my worst nightmares.

I stop at the graves of my family, silently wishing I brought a bouquet of flowers or some other form of tribute.

"_That's okay,"_ Yuki Tanguay Nagato says. "_It already means a lot to me that you're here."_

I am not startled to hear her voice, and I am not sure whether or not I should have been.

"Could you tell me about your parents?"

"Our _parents,"_ she corrects. "_Mother was the kind of person who'd meet someone and make them feel as though they'd been friends since childhood in a matter of minutes. She worked as a librarian, and that's how father met her. As for him, he was quite strict. He had a very firm idea of how he wanted my life to go..."_ She chuckles melancholically. "_That makes him sound like a horrible parent, but he really wasn't. I could see he cared, and he clearly wanted me to be happy above all else. Also, he's the reason I got into reading."_

I feel the need to weep, but she somehow manages to hold me back.

"Recently, I dreamt of murdering these people," I say. "It has not occurred to me until now that there is truth to this nightmare..."

"_You didn't kill them,"_ she insists. "_The Data Overmind did. If it was you, you'd remember. Trust me."_

Before I can thank her, her presence fades. Behind me, I hear slow footsteps. From the distance of each sound, I am able to conclude that whoever is there is walking towards me.

I turn around to confront them, and I am surprised to find Mikuru Asahina standing a few yards away from me.

"Have you... followed me?"

"I didn't know where you were going," she says, "but I thought that if you didn't want to tell us, then going alone might not have been such a good idea."

"It could have been dangerous," I say.

"I know," she says. "But... I think I was right to come here."

I walk over to her and grab her hand, which appears to surprise her.

"You were."

We spend the next few minutes looking at the graves, during which I explain the story behind them. During my explanation, I notice two emotional reactions, but I cannot determine who they may be directed towards: Anger and sympathy. By the end of the story, she seems somewhat distant, and when I suggest that we return home, she is eager to do so.

When I return to bed that night, I am unable to remove the worry that she now fears me. Only time will tell what this means for her older counterpart's timeline.


	7. Entry 7

**Entry 7**

**December 14th 2004**

I had another nightmare last night, but I do not wish to describe it. The only details I am willing to reveal are that it involved Mikuru Asahina, and its message was far clearer than those of the other nightmares.

Upon getting out of bed, I realize that noon has already passed, and so I hurry downstairs for lunch.

"Nagatochi!" Haruka Tsuruya responds to my appearance with mock surprise. "Are you trying to pull a Rip Van Winkle or something here? Maybe wake up in a couple centuries and grab yourself a hoverboard?"

Although I realize it is impolite, I have no response other than to ignore her. She promptly decides to leave me be, most likely because she sees that I am unable to match her energy today.

After I have finished eating, she announces our plans for today.

"We're going to Old Quebec, which I'm told is the number one tourist place in Québec. We'll be going in about an hour, so you'd better start preparing anything you might want to bring!"

On my way back upstairs, I encounter Kiyoshi, who, as always, knows all too well that something is troubling me.

"Is your journal up to date?" he asks.

I nod, which he recognizes as an invitation to read it, and so he follows me to my bedroom.

Once again, he learns many things from my journal, which means it takes him a while to process all the information. As soon as he has done so, he appears to have many topics he wishes to address, as I expected.

"Well, it's great that Asahina feels the same way about you... right?"

"After what I told her at the graveyard," I say, "I can no longer be certain of that."

He frowns. "I really don't think she'd blame you for that kind of thing. I mean, your other self was the main victim in all of this, and _she_ doesn't blame you."

"Perhaps..." In spite of his encouragement, I am ultimately unable to shake the doubt plaguing my mind, and although he seems to be aware of this, he appears unsure in regards to what to do about it.

Fortunately, the subject changes when Haruka Tsuruya bursts into the room, carrying various items one could never conceivably need in Old Quebec. Were I in a better mood, I might have attempted to list them.

"We're going!" she says. "All aboard the SS Canada Express! It's a train and it's a boat, because in Canada 'a boat' is pronounced 'a boot' and that's a lot easier to combine with a train which is what makes the whole thing possible!"

It appears that she is playing up her eccentricity in an effort to lift my spirits. Her efforts are appreciated, but still futile.

* * *

I have little to say about Old Quebec, simply because my mind is elsewhere at the time. I often worry that my lack of enthusiasm is ruining the experience for the others, but if this is the case, then none of them have chosen to comment on the matter. The only event I consider to be worth writing about is an unwelcome encounter with Aya Belgard.

"Yuki Nagato!" She smiles deceivingly. "What are the odds of meeting you here?"

She is obviously counting on me not to attack her in front of all of these people. She does not seem to be aware of the mood I am in, and by extension, the fact that she is treading on thin ice.

"And you must be the rest of... that thing... What was it again? LOL Squad? MSG Crew?"

Haruhi's eyes narrow. "We're the SOS Brigade. And you are?"

"I'm Aya Belgard." She pauses upon hearing Kiyoshi grit his teeth. "I'm in the same class as Nagato, but we don't really talk much. Which is a shame, because if she's in your-" She clears her throat. "-'brigade', then she must be quite an interesting person."

By this point, none of us seem to trust her, with the surprising exception of Mikuru Asahina, who appears to be withholding her judgment until she learns more about her.

Later on Aya Belgard somehow convinces us to have lunch with her, and afterwards, Itsuki Koizumi and Kiyoshi discuss her in private.

"At first, I didn't have any reason to feel strongly about her one way or the other," Itsuki Koizumi says. "But as soon as I felt the mistrust Miss Suzumiya was falling... Well, it felt as though her façade fell apart then and there. I think she may have a sixth sense for this kind of thing."

"If that's the case," Kiyoshi says, "then it may need a little tweaking. I mean, she's right this time, as I'm sure Nagato will tell you if you ask her nicely, but she has no reason to treat Sasaki the way she does."

"Really?" Itsuki Koizumi responds with his trademark 'whatever could you be implying?' smile/shrug. "You may not have noticed, but I think that Miss Suzumiya has been warming up to Miss Sasaki lately. But even when there was hostility, it was little more than baseless jealousy, which even she is slowly admitting to herself. With Miss Belgard, the feeling is far more intense. But now you've got me curious... What happened between her and Miss Nagato?"

Kiyoshi explains the details, concluding with a 'well, she put it better than I did, but I can't recite it word for word'. What makes his explanation particularly difficult is the (incredibly perplexing) fact that kidnapping Mikuru Asahina is no longer a good reason to mistrust somebody after Kyoko Tachibana kidnapped her and ultimately turned out to be a decent person. Regardless, Itsuki Koizumi seems to understand what he is trying to convey and agrees that Aya Belgard is not somebody to be taken lightly.

Upon realizing that their conversation has ended, I shift my attention elsewhere, and immediately regret doing so.

In the corner, Mikuru Asahina is speaking with Aya Belgard, who is subtly positioned so that Mikuru is unable to move from where she is without invading her personal space.

"It can't be easy, being with that brigade all the time. You're welcome to visit the Supernatural Research Society whenever you please."

"I'm not so sure about that," Mikuru says. "Yu-Miss Nagato's an on-and-off member of the Computer Society, and for a while I was tagging along with her, but... Well, it turned out not to be such a good idea."

"That's exactly what I mean," Aya Belgard says. "They're so restrictive there. I'm sure you'd rather be somewhere else, which is why I'm inviting you to spend some time with us. Or just me, if you prefer."

It takes a while for me to realize, but... She is flirting with Mikuru Asahina.

That... bitch.

As I continue to stare, others notice what it is I am looking at, and Haruka Tsuruya is the first to do something about it.

"Say," she says, "when I was looking up places to visit in Québec, they said the recommended visiting time for this place was two to three hours. I don't know how long it's been, but..."

Mikuru Asahina looks at her watch. "It's been an hour and a half..."

"Great!" She laughs nervously. "We're in a different time zone, and it's a leap year, so that means it's been well over three hours! Let's all go back!"

The rest of us agree, and we hastily make our way back to the manor. In the end, I am unable to determine what Aya Belgard was hoping to accomplish here, but it has hopefully gone unaccomplished.

"She was... strange," Mikuru Asahina says to nobody in particular. "Even after all that, I'm not sure what to make of her..."

"She said she was a member of the Supernatural Phenomena Research Society," Haruhi notes. "I'll be honest, I still don't trust those guys. Especially her."

"I don't really think that's fair," Mikuru says, her voice becoming less audible with each word. "But... oh, I don't know."

None of us have anything to do when we reach the manor, and Haruka Tsuruya tries repeatedly to start a conversation to distract us from what happened today, with little success. At one point, she reveals that we will be returning home tomorrow, which I am sure many of us suspect to be a decision she only made very recently.

Eventually, I decide to go to bed, hoping once again that the dreams I experience will be tolerable at the very least.


	8. Entry 8

**Entry 8**

**December 15th 2004**

In my dreams, I meet with Yuki Tanguay Nagato, who has some encouraging words for me.

"_I'm sure Asahina still loves you."_

"How can you be sure?"

"_Because I know from personal experience that people don't just jump ship that easily. Do you remember when you stole Miss Suzumiya's powers and rewrote the universe?"_

"Of course I do."

"_Apparently, when you first gained those powers, you learned of my existence and decided to restore me, so I took your place in the new universe. When I met Kiyoshi for the first time, I felt something I'd never felt before, and my only experience with that kind of thing came from books and games and whatnot. I was lead to believe I was in love with him, but when I met Asahina a few days later... well, it was a jaw-dropping experience for me. _

"_However, the universe was rewritten shortly afterward, and I was suddenly a ghost in this world. Because it's so difficult to stay sane as a ghost, I began to hallucinate a version of the universe that stayed the way it was. Kiyoshi and I became closer, and eventually, there was an incident where I narrowly avoided getting hit by a car, which somehow rewrote my entire personality..._

"_...You know, come to think of it, I must have been crazier than I thought."_ She chuckles nervously. _"Anyway, while I was in that state, I began to suspect that it wasn't actually love I was feeling for him, but someone managed to convince me otherwise, and I confessed to him moments before returning to normal._

"_We dated for a while, and I once again began to suspect that something wasn't right, and it took me so long to admit that what I was feeling was actually appreciation for our friendship, and that we were actually better as friends. But when I did... Well, that's when the hallucination ended._

"_This was a few months before I finally got to meet you and synchronize with you, and when that finally happened I learned about your feelings for Asahina, and I realized that when I met her last year, I fell in love with _her_, but I tried to ignore those feelings because I was so convinced that I was in love with Kiyoshi. Do you see what I'm trying to say here?"_

"I do not," I say, "but I feel as though I should."

"_Asahina won't change her mind so easily. If she's been in love with you for so long, she won't just give up on it now."_

Before I am able to find the words to thank her, I wake up again.

* * *

Next to my bed is Haruhi Suzumiya, who is holding a foghorn in both hands. When she sees that my eyes are no longer shut, she looks shocked, but this shortly shifts to a shade of sheepishness.

"Shi..."

"Shhh," I say. "There is no need for you to shout."

"Shucks." She shakes her head. "I was sure I'd shock you, but it looks like any hopes of that have been shattered into small, shiny shards."

By this point, I am su... certain that most people have had quite enough.

"Will we be leaving soon?" I say.

"Yup," she says. "I'd tell you to pack, but I don't see anything of yours lying around. What did you even take?"

"I brought some books," I say. "And a toothbrush."

She lifts the covers, revealing the same clothes she has seen me in for the last two days. "...How do those things stay clean?"

"I am very careful," I say.

Throughout the journey back, I can tell that Aya Belgard is following us. I can do nothing but try to ignore her, but these efforts are largely unsuccessful. Nothing I read is able to distract me from her presence, but when Haruka Tsuruya gets bored, she decides to entertain the rest of us, and ends up succeeding where I have failed.

"Get ready, cats and kittens," she says, "for the puppet show of a lifetime! I was going to do this while we were there, but then we MYSTERIOUSLY RAN OUT OF TIME. So here it is!"

She reaches into her bag and produces hand puppets in the likeness of the members of the SOS Brigade, plus herself.

"I can't believe I read every book in the world," Puppet Yuki says. "...now what?"

"We could start a band," Puppet Kiyoshi suggests. "I'll play bass. We'll all play bass. Let's call the band 'Bass'."

For the next three minutes, Haruka Tsuruya attempts to imitate several basses playing simultaneously. And it is amazing.

"Why is my bass an octopus?" Puppet Mikuru says. "I can't play this. I... Can I play the banjo instead?"

Puppet Haruhi produces another octopus. "Here's your banjo!"

"Waaah!" Puppet Mikuru struggles to remove the octopus from her face. "Why do you have so many octopi?"

"The music store was having a sale," she says. "But they were the only two left, so I got actual basses for everyone else."

"I wouldn't mind an octopus," Puppet Yuki says. "I never actually wanted to play bass. I never actually wanted to be in a band. I just want more books."

She then proceeds to roar loudly and eat the other puppets, shouting 'KNOWLEDGE IS POWER' before the puppet show finishes. The rest of us applaud as Haruka Tsuruya bows and returns to her seat.

"So I think we've all learned something today," she says. "And that's to never let me improvise. I didn't even know I _had_ any of those props until the 'story' called for them."

* * *

At 10AM, we arrive back home, and we each go our separate ways. When I arrive at my apartment, Kuyoh Suoh is waiting for me.

"Have you learned anything new?" I ask.

"Apparently-" she says, "I wasn't supposed to know-that we were eating humans. I asked about it recently-and many people around me became violently ill. Akira Hirano-did not seem to mind-and he calmly explained my mistake to me."

"In what context did you make your 'mistake'?" I ask.

"I was still wondering-why eating humans was frowned upon-" she says, "so I asked him. I probably should have asked him-in private."

"The others had a right to know," I say. "For them, consuming an intelligent being is different from consuming an animal."

"But you still haven't explained-how it is different," she says.

I pause to consider my explanation. "...When you first discussed the matter, you claimed that you were offered 'someone' to eat and not 'something'. For many people, most animals lack the individuality and identity that humans have. This is presumably why consuming otherwise domesticated animals is generally frowned upon."

"But that is based entirely-on point of view," she says. "How can anything that is dead have an identity?"

Kuyoh Suoh has struggled with the concept of death for months, so hearing her ask this question catches me off guard, but not entirely for the reasons I have just given. The manner in which she phrases her question reminds me of my conversation with Ryoko Asakura on the subject of occupying human bodies.

After several minutes of silence, I think I find the question that might turn this conversation around.

"Have you ever experienced the death of somebody you were close to?"

She hesitates to answer. "Once... but that was before I fully understood the concept of death. If it were to happen again... I am not sure how I would respond."

"If you were to consult somebody close to a person you have consumed," I say, "you may understand."

She goes silent once again. "...I am afraid to."

For the rest of the evening, we both wait to see if either of us will continue the conversation, but in the end, neither of us do. Without so much as a farewell, she stands and leaves, and I return to bed shortly afterwards.


	9. Entry 9

**Entry 9**

**December 16th 2004**

...Haruka Tsuruya was absolutely right. I have been sleeping far more often than usual lately. I suppose jet lag may have something to do with it, but it would seems unusual for my kind, who need not bother with many problems experienced by ordinary humans, and are unaffected by distortions in spacetime, to be vulnerable to something as mundane as a change in time zone.

After getting out of bed, I spend the majority of the afternoon reading, and this goes uninterrupted until I receive a phone call from Haruhi.

"I'M SO FREAKIN' BORED," she greets. "Kyon went to visit his grandparents. Yeah, _now_ of all times! I guess three days in Canada just wasn't enough for him. So, you doing anything that'd keep you from coming to the clubroom?"

"Not much," I say. "But now that you have brought this matter to my attention, I find it to be suspicious, and would like to investigate."

"I know that feeling," she says. "Good luck."

I hang up the phone before calling his grandparents' residence, but instead of Kiyoshi, I am greeted by his younger sister, Kokoro Kujo.

"Hey Nagatochi! You wanna talk to Kyon?"

"If he is not busy," I say. "But you may be able to answer the questions I have."

"Go ahead!" her smile can be heard from many miles away. "When I'm staying here, my detective skills really shine!"

I am not sure what to make of this statement, so I dismiss it. "Is there a reason you are visiting on so suddenly?"

"Well…" She lowers her voice. "...Kyon doesn't anyone to know this, but it was his idea. So far, he's been spending a lot of time with Grandpa, so I think… Say, where's he been these last few days?"

"Canada," I say.

Her shock keeps her responding for nearly a minute. "...And he didn't bring me! What kind of a brother is he?"

Silence.

"Anyway… I think he saw something in Canada that lead him to ponder human mortality and the inevitability of death. He realized that he might lose somebody close to him without warning, and so he decided to spend some quality time with his grandparents before it's too late." She clears her throat. "You think I'm right?"

Being taken aback by her sudden change of vocabulary, I also take a while to respond.

"...Quite possibly."

She chuckles modestly, and our conversation ends shortly afterwards. As promised, I leave to join Haruhi at the SOS Brigade Clubroom.

* * *

When I arrive at school, I have the misfortune of walking past the clubroom for the Supernatural Phenomena Research Society, where Akira Hirano is waiting outside and struggling to look innocent.

"Is there something you wish to say to me?" I ask.

He shakes his head. "What about you?"

"Now that you mention it," I say. "There is something I would like to address. You stated that if I did not interfere with your business, you would leave me alone. In spite of this, you sent Aya Belgard to follow me when I went to Canada."

"Well…" He scratches his head. "That was mostly her idea, to be honest. She had a feeling you'd learn the truth about your identity there, and felt the need to kick you while you were down. I'll be honest with you… I don't really like her much more than you do. She's very rude."

Although I must agree, and in spite of everything that transpired in Canada, I would still rather be stuck in a room with her than with him. I cannot properly explain it, but I may be able to after some consideration.

I hastily make my way to the SOS Brigade Clubroom, where every member is present save for Kiyoshi. This leads me to two possible conclusions: Either everybody was bored, or Haruhi was _very_ bored. I find the latter to be more likely.

"So Yuki," Haruhi says. "You find anything out about Kyon?"

"I was only able to speak with his sister," I say. "She has her suspicions, but no concrete evidence to back them up."

She stares at me, expecting me to elaborate further. Upon realizing that I will not do so, she sighs and returns her attention to the computer. Eventually, she realizes that having the rest of here is not making her day any more interesting, and as such she decides to leave.

"This seems like the perfect moment for something exciting to happen," Itsuki Koizumi says.

Twenty minutes later, Yasumi Watahashi arrives, much to Mikuru Asahina's delight.

"Hey there everyone!" She pauses while Mikuru hugs her. "I just came here to share some EXCLUSIVE CONFIDENTIAL INFORMATION regarding Kyon's sudden disappearance!"

"I think I already understand," Itsuki Koizumi says. "Whenever you're here, it usually means that an incident that puts the brigade at risk is just around the corner."

"Well," she frowns, "when you put it what way, I sound like a scary harbinger of doom. I always preferred Kyon's 'I'm a leprechaun' theory myself. But yeah, you're right. Considering how this has only happened twice before, I'm actually impressed that you figured it out.

"Anyway, earlier today I told him the brigade was in trouble, and he decided the best course of action was to go visit his grandparents. I don't really understand myself, but he says he knows what he's doing, and I trust him. We all trust him."

The rest of us nod.

"So yeah," she says, "you should all prepare for what's coming. Yuki, you remember this?" She produces an antenna-like pointer with a star, most likely used to decorate a Christmas tree, placed on top.

"I remember it," I say. "It is a prop we used in our film last year."

"Yep!" She smiles brightly. "I was thinking, you totally need a new one. One that works. I'm sure you can manage it!"

It is at times like this where it is easy to recognize the connection between her and Haruhi.

"But you'd better be quick," she says. "I don't know how long we have until this incident happens. I can't really foresee it perfectly. There's someone involved who I can't really predict, or even identify. So be careful, okay?"

I stand to leave. "I shall begin preparation immediately."

As I depart, she reminds me once again to take care, and considering who will most likely be responsible for this incident, I follow her advice to the letter.

* * *

Because Yasumi Watahashi suggested that I create a new version of the Star Ring inferno, I have decided to purchase the resources necessary for what I like to call 'Star Ring Inferno Mk. II', or alternatively, 'Frostfang'. As the name suggests, it freezes its targets, and as much as I hate to spoil the magic, it occurs to me that some of the people reading this may want a more detailed explanation.

The 'wand' is little more than a hollow plastic rod (although its complex design may lead one to believe otherwise) that stores liquid nitrogen and sprays it at my command. It is very simple, but its design prevents anybody besides myself from using it.

When I have finished designing it, I am surprised to find that midnight passed over an hour ago, and as such I quickly make my way to bed, feeling for the most part satisfied with what has happened during the day.


	10. Entry 10

**Entry 10**

**December 17th 2004**

There are some days when you wake up knowing that today is going to be an excellent day. And there are some days where you are completely wrong about this.

This morning, I decide to go grocery shopping. Kiyoshi once told me that the fact that I need to do this raises quite a few questions about my kind, and I suppose that now is a good time to answer them as any.

First of all, eating is just as much a necessity for me as it is for humans. Everything that lives requires a source of energy. The main difference is that, while humans are only able to convert some of what they eat into energy, with the rest simply being wasted, humanoid interfaces convert 100% of what they eat into energy.

In addition to this, I have often been asked about my source of income. The answer to this one is so simple that you may be tempted to slap your forehead and say 'of course'.

I make my money by turning lead into gold. I believe a sentence like this is typically followed by a 'duh'.

On my way home, I encounter a suspicious looking individual. If I were to identify his most suspicious trait, it would most likely be the fact that he is pointing a knife at me.

"You seem like a smart kid," he says. "Can you guess what I want from you?"

Because I am in such a good mood, I decide to play along.

"Directions?"

"No…" He chuckles. "I guess you're a little slower than I thought. But since I'm in such a good mood, I'll play along for now. You get two more guesses."

"The time?"

"You're not getting any warmer…" He moves the knife closer. "One last guess."

I think back to his greeting, and in doing so I realize that there is probably something I have that he wants.

"...A proper education?"

Unfortunately, this proves to be a touchy subject for him, as his playful nature is replaced with a violent rage. He attempts to stab me a couple of times, with me dodging skillfully each time. Eventually, I realize that this would be a perfect opportunity to test the Frostfang, which proves to be especially effective before I even use it.

"Wha…" He stares with confusion. "...What the hell is that?"

"You were doing so well," I say. "But you made one mistake."

By this point, he is frozen with confusion, and perhaps intimidation?

"That mistake was threatening an alien sorceress."

I point the Frostfang at him and freeze his torso, rendering him immobile. Although I probably should have done this much sooner, I look around to ensure that nobody was looking, and luckily, the only person in the vicinity is somebody I can trust.

"Nagatochi, that was amazing!" Haruka Tsuruya says. "Is that magic? Are you Batman? Are you a magical girl version of Batman?"

"Yes, yes, and yes," I say. "No one can know my secret."

"Got it!" She salutes playfully. "You know, I always wanted to be Batman. I've already got everything he's got... besides dead parents and a Y-chromosome."

"Barbara Gordon had neither, and she was able to become Batgirl," I say.

"Hey, that's a good point!" She suddenly runs away, leaving me alone with the would be mugger.

"If I thaw you," I say, "will you make any resistance when I escort you to the authorities?"

To my surprise, he does not require me to simplify my vocabulary, and follows me with little complaint to a nearby police station. As a matter of fact, he appears to be glad to be rid of me, and I must admit that the feeling is mutual.

* * *

When I return home, I am surprised to find that Mikuru Asahina has been waiting for me. I quickly allow her inside, and she soon states her reason for being here.

"After Yasumi talked to us yesterday," she says, "I realized… I'm really no good at defending myself in an emergency. And considering how she asked _you_ to prepare yourself, and you're already very capable… Well, I don't know what to do."

I place my hand on her shoulder. "There is no need for you to do anything. If you are in danger, I will protect you."

"I…" She hesitates, and just as I am about to ask if something is wrong, she pulls me into an embrace. "...Thank you, Yuki."

I return the embrace, and we remain silent for a few minutes.

"You know," she says, "you've done so much for me… Especially these past few days. I've always wanted to return the favor somehow… I haven't been sure how, but I think I've got an idea now. I can't guarantee you'll like it…"

I can.

"But I just wanted you to know… Yuki, I… Ah!"

Her sudden reaction catches me off guard, as I am unable to detect anything that could possibly startle her. However, she explains immediately.

"I just received a message from the future. It's top priority, and I have to be there immediately. I'm sorry, Yuki, but I'll…"

Before she can finish, she disappears, leaving me to wonder what it was she wanted to say. I remain where I am for over half an hour, at which point Kuyoh Suoh comes to visit.

"Things went very well-with Akira Hirano today," she says. "I think he now sees me-as a true member of the Supernatural Phenomena Research society-and perhaps even a friend."

Being incredibly doubtful, I ask for her to elaborate further.

"I've been doing errands-for them," she says. "Recently, he asked me to carry something."

"I do not understand," I say. "What is the significance of that request?"

She smirks, and I begin to understand why most humans are unnerved when she does so. "He said you'd understand if you knew what it was I'm carrying."

"He said?" I repeat. "You are not making any sense. What were… Hold on. You chose to refer to it in present tense. What _are_ you carrying?"

"A virus."

Before I can respond, I collapse onto the floor, and my vision fades. This is when I begin to realize that I was completely wrong this morning.


	11. Entry 11

**Entry 11**

**December 17th 2004**

Hours later, I am awakened by an intense burning sensation that keeps me from moving. I am lying on what resembles an operating table, and only my lower half is clothed, with many unrecognizable patterns carved into my torso with a scalpel. I have never experienced menstruation before, but I imagine that it would feel something like this, or rather, it would if the pain affected every cell of one's body. To make matters worse, I can no longer feel Yuki Tanguay Nagato's presence.

I quickly realize that I am in Akira Hirano's house, and he is with me, along with Aya Belgard, Kuyoh Suoh, and many other members of the Supernatural Phenomena Research Society. Upon realizing that I am now aware of his presence, Akira Hirano walks towards me and looks down on me.

"I suppose you're wondering why you're here," he says. "And the answer is simple: You made a mistake. Do you know what your mistake was?"

I refuse to give him the satisfaction of an answer.

"Your mistake was trusting Miss Suoh to infiltrate our society," he says. "You know perfectly well that she's trying to achieve autonomy. Did you really think that understanding the concept of loyalty would be high on her to-do list? I must admit that it took a while for me to catch on. While the Entity that granted me my powers granted me a limited form of precognition, it does have its blind spots, and she was one of them."

It suddenly occurs to me that Kuyoh Suoh was the unknown variable that Yasumi Watahashi mentioned, and I feel like a fool for not realizing this sooner.

"Now, I warned you to stay out of my business," he says. "Normally, I'd kill someone who didn't follow my advice. But since I've taken a liking to you in these past few days, I think I'll torture you first. Miss Belgard, would you like to begin?"

"Gladly." She grins maliciously as she walks up to me. "I'm sure you're already wondering, what tools will we be torturing you with? Nails? Poison? No. We'll be torturing you with the truth. And we're going to apply it right where it hurts."

I doubt that she can live up to these claims, but she is quick to prove me wrong.

"You know, you actually got closer to Mikuru after you started that journal. Too bad you blew it in the graveyard.

"You said it yourself: When you told her about your origins, even a machine like you could tell she was feeling 'anger and sympathy'. It takes a lot to make her angry, but apparently, you managed! Still, she's a sweet girl, and I'm sure the real Yuki Nagato appreciates her sympathy. Of course, anyone would take her side after hearing a story like that."

The worst thing about this is the fact that I am not able to dismiss her claims. I honestly believe that there is truth to them, and it is because of this that Akira Hirano's promise to torture me has been fulfilled beyond my expectations.

"The next day, I figured, 'Mikuru deserves better than her'," she says, "so I went and told her that I'd be there if she needed me."

"That's a good start," Akira Hirano says. "It's a shame you haven't had a chance since then to take it further, but there's plenty of time after this." He returns his attention to me. "And don't expect her to care that you're suddenly gone. Why do you think she abandoned you so suddenly before Miss Suoh came to meet you? 'Message from the future'? 'Top priority'? I never would have expected you to fall for such a hasty excuse."

As you can imagine, this blow is the one that hits me the hardest, and the one that makes me glad that they will soon be killing me. I can only hope that it happens soon.

I promised to her that I would protect her… but it meant nothing to her… and in spite of everything…

...I cannot stop loving her.

My thoughts are interrupted when I hear a sudden crashing sound, and every head in the room turns to where I must assume there is a door.

When I hear Kiyoshi's voice, a small spark of hope ignites within me.

"What the hell have you been doing to her?" he demands.

"Nothing you can do anything about." Akira Hirano says. "But it appears to me that you wish to try regardless."

"You're damn right." Kiyoshi walks into my field of vision, and I discover that he is carrying a katana. "Yasumi told me everything, and I came as fast as I could. I was learning kendo from my grandpa, and while I didn't learn as much as I could have, I think I know enough to handle this."

"Very well." Akira Hirano retrieves a rapier and points it towards Kiyoshi. "Engarde."

"There's no need for that bullshit," he says. "We're both fighting with intent to kill here."

"Have it your way." Akira Hirano lunges towards him, and a very impressive fight ensues. Unfortunately, Kiyoshi is unable to match his inhuman reflexes, but things turn in a different direction when Kuyoh Suoh joins in, fighting, much to my surprise, on Kiyoshi's side.

"I do not take kindly-to the suggestion that I am untrustworthy," she says. "And while I do not have a perfect understand of loyalty-I can easily identify the difference between an authority figure and a friend."

Akira Hirano appears to be genuinely shocked by this development, but he is quick to hide it. The battle soon continues, and although Kuyoh Suoh proves to be a valuable ally to Kiyoshi, neither side appears to have a significant advantage over the other. I begin to feel worthless for being unable to assist, but an unexpected development occurs and my hope is renewed.

Yuki Tanguay Nagato's ghost emerges from the floor, looking exactly like the vengeful spirit I dreaded seeing when I first encountered her. Even Kiyoshi seems to be afraid, but when he notices the resemblance, he is at ease.

"_What have you done to my body?"_ she shrieks.

Aya Belgard is the first to respond, looking considerably more sure of herself than Akira Hirano does. "What have _we_ done? Are you telling me you're perfectly okay with this _machine_ killing you and stealing your life, but _this_ is going too far?"

"_Yes!"_ she says. "_The difference is that she still respects me, which certainly isn't the case with you and the original Aya Belgard!"_

"I _am_ the original Aya Belgard," she says.

"_If you were the original,"_ Yuki Tanguay Nagato says, "_you wouldn't be a part of this. She may have been resentful towards my other self, but tell me: Would she really take it this far? Sure, she sold her soul to be better, but if she knew things would turn out like this… Well, I can't speak in her place, but I'm sure you'd know."_

Aya Belgard looks at her, then at me. After repeating this action many times, she collapses to the ground and weeps. And for that, I envy her.

Just as Akira Hirano is muttering to himself about how useless she is to him, he is suddenly attacked by Yuki Tanguay Nagato, who proves to me more dangerous than I could have imagined. She makes several efforts to strangle him, but he keeps breaking free until he has enough time to mutter an incantation that restrains her. Before Kiyoshi and Kuyoh Suoh are able to respond, he disarms the former and impales the latter so that she is stuck to a wall, using a similar incantation to keep the rapier in place.

"I must admit," he says, "you're certainly better at choosing your friends than I am. But in the end, their efforts were futile. It's entirely possible that others may come to your aid, but I think the worst is behind us. Well, behind me, anyway. As for you, things are about to get fairly gruesome."

He produces a scalpel already covered in my blood, and just as I am welcoming the coldness it brings to my skin, a voice calls out that I never would have expected to hear, nor even considered possible.

"Get your damn hands off her!"

Akira Hirano looks at Mikuru Asahina and laughs loudly.

"Now this is certainly a surprise to all of us. While I must admit that your very presence has undone the majority of our torture."

"I've… heard enough," Mikuru says, most of the rage in her voice hidden behind honest fear. "I'm… I'm going to end this now!"

Akira Hirano laughs again. "And what exactly can _you_ do to stop me?"

"I've just come back from the future," she says. "They said they had some urgent business with me. Do you know what that was?"

"Enlighten me," he says.

"They removed some nanomachines from my body," she says, "and they gave me a pair of contact lenses. Does that mean anything to you?"

"It might if you explained what the nanomachines were for," he says. "As for the contact lenses… Is that a joke?"

I can hear Mikuru positioning her index and middle fingers so that her left eye is in between them. "Yuki injected me with the nanomachines to prevent me from shooting lasers out of my eyes, and removed the contact lenses for the same reason."

"I see," Akira Hirano says. "So this _is_ a joke."

"If you really think so," Kiyoshi says, "then get ready to die laughing."

Mikuru nods and stutters the immortal words.

"Mi-mi… Mikuru Beam!"

Akira Hirano barely has time to respond before he is hit with an electric shock that courses throughout his entire body. When he falls to the ground, he continues to breathe, and I realize what it is I must do.

Although it causes just as much pain as it did before, I lift myself from the table and advance towards him, and judging from the paralyzing fear he is experience, my intent is quite clear.

"You… you wouldn't… You wouldn't kill a human being like me!"

I grab his head, holding it so tightly that my fingernails pierce his skin. If I were to show mercy, he would misunderstand the gesture and continue his misdeeds.

"The cattle I eat behave far more human than you do."

A persistent voice in my head is telling me to drain the water from his body, freeze it into an icicle, and then stab him repeatedly. While that does indeed sound satisfying, a task like this one requires efficiency, not brutality. Instead, I snap his neck, killing him instantly.

The pain in my body begins to fade, as does my consciousness. Before I land on the ground, both Mikuru and Kiyoshi run towards me while Kuyoh Suoh and Yuki Tanguay Nagato begin to free themselves.


	12. Entry 12

**Entry 12  
December 24th 2004**

Before I awaken, the Data Overmind and Yuki Tanguay Nagato appear to me. The former is apparently here to explain what is happening during my coma.

_Thanks to your efforts,_ it begins, _the unnamed entity has lost two of its most valuable assets, and the probability of its defeat has increased greatly._

"_Two of them? What happened to Aya Belgard?"_

_After you confronted her, she spent several days in a depression before committing suicide._

Yuki Tanguay Nagato finds herself unable to respond to this news, and as the Data Overmind fades away she brings her attention to me, looking just as horrified as I had once envisioned her.

"_She... didn't deserve that,"_ she murmurs.

"She did not," I agree. "But it was her own decision, and you should not take any blame for it."

Unfortunately, I am unable to completely rid her of the guilt she is feeling, and when I finally awaken I am feeling somewhat melancholic.

This changes in a matter of minutes.

* * *

When my eyes finally open, I find myself in a hospital owned by Itsuki Koizumi's agency. The first thing I notice is that Mikuru Asahina is sitting next to me, and appears to have been for some time. I can immediately tell that she is happy to see me awake again, as indicated by her tight embrace and the tears staining my hospital gown. During this time, I feel deeply ashamed to have allowed Akira Hirano to deceive me so easily.

"Are you feeling okay?" she says. "I was so worried!"

"I have never felt better," I say. "But I appreciate your concern."

The next few minutes are extremely reminiscent of my last moments spent with her older counterpart. This time, I am the one who interrupts the silence, as a question occurs to me that I had forgotten as a result of the incident and my resulting coma.

"When we last spoke," I say, "there was something you wanted to tell me, in return for everything I have done for you. Although you have more than returned the favor since then, I would still like to know what it was you wanted to say."

"Oh!" Her eyes widen. "Yes... I remember... The thing is, even if I wasn't interrupted, it probably would have taken me a while to say it..." She chuckles nervously. "I guess I'm still putting it off... But I have to say this...

"Yuki... I love you."

…

...Of course.

Our embrace tightens, and I whisper into her ear.

"I love you too."

After this... I have said it once, and I shall say it again: Not a word is exchanged between us, and not a word needs to be. If anything even needs to be written in this journal, it is that this is the happiest I have been in my life.

Mikuru eventually speaks again. "When I was called to the future... I knew it was serious, because I met the person I'd been taking orders from for the first time. I'm sure you know who it was."

I nod.

"She said that by doing what she did, she'd prevent me from ever becoming her and erase her timeline. And she said that before she disappeared, there was something she wanted me to give you on her behalf."

Before I can ask what it is, she gives me the gift, and I take an unknown amount of time to recover.

For those of you who really must know, it was a kiss, and I am currently struggling to find a word in any language that accurately describes how it made me feel.

"Kyon and Miss Suoh should be visiting soon," Mikuru says. "They usually do around this time of day."

Minutes later, the two arrive as promised, and although only Kiyoshi's reaction is visible, I can tell that they are both glad to see me awake.

"I feel the need to apologize-for my betrayal," Kuyoh Suoh says. "But I fear-that it may not be enough."

"When you realized your mistake and fought on Kiyoshi's side," I say, "that was enough of an apology for me."

"Yeah." Kiyoshi says. "In the last week, even I've come to forgive you. You should be proud of yourself, Suoh."

Her face freezes before displaying what could quite possibly be her first sincere smile. "I am."

"So," Kiyoshi says. "I recently decided that, when you woke up, we should order pizza, because let's be honest: After an ordeal like that one, we've earned it. What do you think?"

The rest of us voice our agreement, and he promptly produces a cell phone and begins to make his order. "So, um... How does pepperoni sound?"

I briefly pause to consider this. "I am afraid that I must decline. In light of recent events, I have chosen to become a vegetarian."

He smiles understandingly before returning his mouth to the receiver. "Actually, make it a margherita." He gives the address. "Yeah, it kind of is. But you know how it is, when your best friend wakes up from a coma. Yeah, it's like that."

He hangs up, and there is little for us to do but wait. During that time, Mikuru and I exchange many a meaningful glance before finally announcing the news.

"Yuki and I... Well, we're officially a couple now."

Kiyoshi's smile widens. "I'm glad to hear it."

Kuyoh Suoh does not appear to understand how she feels about this revelation, and I am sadly unable to help her in that area. In her discomfort, she decides to change the subject.

"You'll be glad to know-that we aren't in any trouble-with the law," she says. "Akira Hirano's death is regarded-as an accident, if not a suicide."

The last word leaves a bitter taste in my mouth, and Kiyoshi and Mikuru appear to have similar reactions.

"When the police interrogated is," Kiyoshi continues, "we basically told them the truth. You were kidnapped, we came to rescue you, and he died during the ensuing struggle. Sometimes, the best way around an obstacle is to run right through it."

Moments after he finishes speaking, the pizza arrives, and we all help ourselves. It turns out that Kiyoshi is right: There is no pizza quite like you-or-someone-close-to-you-just-woke-up-from-a-co ma pizza. Of course, anything is better than whatever it is humans are fed during a coma.

"Is there anything preventing us from leaving?" I ask. "Although my scars are still present, they are causing no pain, and I feel that there is no reason to be here any longer."

"We'll have to see what someone working here thinks," Kiyoshi says. "When we first brought you here, they said the wounds were pretty deep, and that they'd have to see how they were when you woke up."

"I can heal your wounds," Kuyoh Suoh says, placing a hand on each of my shoulders. After muttering a brief incantation, she lives up to her promise, and my body is in peak condition.

As if on cue, a nurse arrives, looking understandably surprised that I have been awake long enough to share pizza with the others.

"Are... Are you...?"

"I am ready to leave," I say.

"Really?" she looks at the others. "Do you mind leaving the room for a moment?"

They oblige, and the nurse closely inspects my torso before returning my clothes to me and placing a hand to her chin.

"One of your friends told me to expect something like this," she says, "but I still don't get it. But... you can go home, I guess."

"Thank you." We leave the building together, and as soon as Kiyoshi and Kuyoh Suoh are home, Mikuru and I are alone once more.

"I, um..." She pauses to consider what it is she wishes to say. "...would you like to visit my house for tonight?"

I take her hand. "I would love to."

Mikuru's house is not exactly something befitting somebody who may or may not be the heir to the Tsuruya family, but it is good for somebody who does not want to stand out. As soon as we are inside, I find that there is nobody else in the house, and I begin to wonder what it is she could possibly have planned.

Ten minutes or so later, I find out. And it is none of your business.


End file.
